I just spent most of my weekend (during the days, anyway) parked in front of my TV, tuned to MTV for the most addicting, sickening marathon of gossip and plastic surgery that I’ve ever witnessed

It wasn’t Days of our Lives.  Although, that would have been a close second.  It was a marathon of The Hills.  OMG.  The drama.  The backstabbing, the passive aggressive personalities.  The work Heidi Montag has had done.  

Heidi Montag, before her body-changing plastic surgery.

It’s really off the charts.  All of it.

While the marathon carried me through two days worth of housework and laundry (who knew there were so many episodes!), it left me feeling a little heavy, if dirty.  Overloaded with angst and conflict.  

I needed a detox.  So, I made an appointment at Madison Avenue Salon and Day Spa.  They are squeezing me in for a detoxifying herbal linen wrap.  It is supposed to help alleviate muscle tension and rid my body of harmful toxins.  Perfect.

It’s only 30 minutes, $40, and it’ll make me feel fresh and free, again.  Until, of course, the final season of The Hills begins.  

But, now I know what I can do.  Once I am again horrified by Montag’s, how should I put this, volume or quantity, of plastic surgery, I’ll need a refresher.  So after the series finale, I’ll get the one-hour treatment.  

The purifying sea mud pack.  It’s $75.  The seaweed and plant enzymes are supposed to dissolve dead skin and leave me glowing.  It’ll the perfect way to send off one of my favorite guilty pleasures in The Hills.  

Then, I’ll need to see when those nutty New Jersey housewives will be back on Bravo.